Competitions: – running races – job applications – dance contests.
Not competitions: – training for running races – emotional response to getting/not getting the job – enjoying (or not) dancing .
I’m not particularly competitive (except with myself, which is pretty-much permanent war), but I recognise that some people seem to compare themselves with others all the time. It’s an interesting thing to do, especially when comparing feelings or emotional responses: “but I know others have it worse” is an excellent way to acknowledge others, but doesn’t allow acknowledgement of the self. Our emotional responses are no less valid than the responses of others and it’s important to let ourselves feel as we feel.
With extra love to everyone who knew my glorious Auntie Val, Broken Hearts by Lang Leav sums it up beautifully:
I know you’ve lost someone and it hurts. You may have lost them suddenly, unexpectedly. Or perhaps you began losing pieces of them until one day, there was nothing left. You may have known them all your life or you may have barely known them at all. Either way, it is irrelevant — you cannot control the depth of a wound another soul inflicts upon you. Which is why I am not here to tell you tomorrow is another day. That the sun will go on shining. Or there are plenty of fish in the sea. What I will tell you is this; it’s okay to be hurting as much as you are. What you are feeling is not only completely valid but necessary — because it makes you so much more human. And though I can’t promise it will get better any time soon, I can tell you that it will — eventually. For now, all you can do is take your time. Take all the time you need.